It’s 2025 and the Kairos Eight25 Support Group hosted an event on May 4th inviting mothers of various ages to be honored, to remember their losses of children, and to acknowledge their grief. It was also a time to recognize women who, for whatever reason, cannot be a mother. Was it sorrowful? Yes. Was it healing? Yes. What is lovely? Yes.

How could it be all those things?

The shared experiences of unrealized motherhood or motherhood that was interrupted with loss invites the opportunity to bond with others in the journey of this particular kind of suffering (infertility, miscarriage, child loss). What provides some healing is the removal of the feeling of aloneness in the journey and the safety of being able to share openly the deep hardness of the journey.

It’s okay, even good, to cry out Psalm 31:9: “Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief.” God has given us the very words to articulate sadness and devastation. He knew that these words would speak clearly the sadness of miscarriage or infant loss, or the losses associated with the inability to conceive.

Healing, although never completed on earth, is found in the love of God and the love of genuine friends who care and listen and pray. Psalm 63:3 reminds us to believe this: “Because Your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you [God].” In the face of loss, hope is only to be found in the loving kindness of God. Losses will still hurt terribly, but God will be faithfully present in the journey for those who cling to Him in faith.

Loveliness is still possible. The pictured Bereaved Mother’s Day tea was every bit as lovely as the celebrations of mothers that take place one week later on the traditional Mother’s Day. Yes, there was a contrast. A mixture of delicious food, china cups full of hot tea, time given to sharing stories and remembering individual losses, and time given to honoring mother’s whose stories had devastating endings… Yet, it was truly lovely. Life was still celebrated!

Philippians 3:8 says, “What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.” This is how Gospel loveliness overshadows, yet doesn’t erase, earthly grief. Only when we reach our heavenly home will there be complete healing, complete loveliness. We must live as those who have that heavenly hope. Secure, loved, not alone.