In spite of any personal loss that is painful, trusting God carries a promise of haven. The still waters. The peace that passes all understanding. Psalm 18:2 says, “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”

In the Genesis story (chapters 43-44), we find that Judah pleads with his younger brother Joseph for mercy as he discovers that Joseph is now in a position of power and influence in Egypt. He realizes that Joseph, the brother he sold into slavery and pretended was dead, now holds the keys to life and death for his father Jacob’s whole family. Judah must now answer to Joseph in the face of possible starvation during a great famine and the hanging question of preservation of his baby brother Benjamin’s life in view of his alleged theft of the silver cup of Joseph’s steward.

As God brings us likewise, in our stressful circumstances, to the crossroads of faith, He presents us with the crisis and we must choose whether or not to proceed in faith. These crossroads can be life-threatening tests, whether spiritually or physically threatening, or both. There is usually a gap of time and silence that leaves us hanging in midair. We experience great tension and we don’t detect even the tiniest movement toward “the next episode.” If you are like me, you long for closure with every fiber of your being. Resolution, no matter whether it is good or bad. Release of stress. Progress instead of limbo. Getting it over with instead of cliffhanging.

The presenting problem that holds us firmly at our midair crisis point, whether it is the experience of infertility, miscarriage or similar grief-filled losses, can be a problem that is unfixable on this side of heaven. We just don’t know. While suffering in the “pain gap,” it may be very helpful to look for the spiritual problem that is likely being raised to the surface by the presenting problem…

Not to deflect here. And never to minimize the agony of the presenting problem, the spiritual dilemma often floats upward and asks us what we plan to do while waiting for God’s plan to unfold? Is there even something we are supposed to do while waiting on God at the horrible cliff point? Is there a supernatural way to ease the tension of the midair limbo?

These questions hopefully point us to our need to invest ourselves in direct conversation with our Creator Father God in order to find answers to the surfacing spiritual questions. Prayer has the best chance of leading us to a haven that is promised by God: Matthew 11:28-30 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden light.” With the promise of God’s haven, we find that God often uses our painful circumstances to help us solve our trust issues. God’s gift of stronger faith is part of the promised haven.

Still, the voyage through our circumstances is in fact never smooth. But, will we learn to live well and wisely within our pain, limitations, weaknesses, or losses? Will suffering define us? Will faith and love be given a chance to grow or will we just decline the opportunity and shrivel into a possibly more painful place? These are questions we confront at the cliffhanger crossroads of faith.

If we allow God’s plan and purposes to prevail, then praying for the ability to “wait well” is the next step. Ask God not to let you overpour energy and affection into solving significant suffering that may not have a remedy on this side of heaven. We never know if there is indeed a solution for the presenting problem, but we do hold onto hope as we continue the faithful voyage. Perhaps pouring our “waiting energy” into prayer with the Lord is the intended process that He will use to redefine us, not by our suffering, but by our identity in Him.

The prayers of other sufferers who have gone before us are often helpful in giving us words when we are wordless. Below is an excerpt from THE VALLEY OF VISION: A Collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions, the prayer entitled “Voyage:”

“O Lord of the Oceans…Let not my faith be wrecked amid storms and shoals…The voyage is long, the waves high, the storms pitiless, but my helm is steady, thy Word secures safe passage, thy grace wafts me onward, my haven is guaranteed…This day will bring me nearer home, Grant me holy consistency in every transaction, my peace flowing as a running tide, my righteousness as every chasing wave. Help me to live circumspectly, with skill to convert every care into prayer…”

Psalm 18:6,16 says, “In my distress I called to the Lord, I cried to my God for help. From His temple He heard my voice; my cry came before Him, into His ears… He reached down from on high and took hold of me; He drew me out of deep waters.”

Photo credit: Ro Seaman