Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about we do not see.” Faith is undoubtedly a gift of God. And expectancy is the fruit of growing confidence in God and His purposes. We must continually ask ourselves, “Is God good?” And long to find the answer to be yes. Based upon His unchanging character – the truth is that He will do what’s ultimately best for us from His perspective (not ours) in eternity. Trivial to say, but costly to believe. In circumstances of loss like infertility, miscarriage or infant loss, questioning God’s goodness is always a companion in the background.

But, when expectancy is based upon the character of the Giver, it can be a life-giving. One of my earliest understandings of expectancy as a child was waiting for Christmas morning. Expectancy was a powerful force, so much so that it was nearly impossible to sleep on Christmas Eve. Imagining the gifts under the tree, hoping for something amazing, looking forward to the excitement and surprise of the morning. My imagining, hoping, and looking forward, because of my generous and loving parents, never let me down. Mom and Dad always came through! They set a standard of gift giving that remains in my family to this day.

Faith in God is not powerless consolation or passive resignation, but is complete confidence in Him based upon His Truth. It is not a formula, but rather a gift given by God’s Spirit. Here’s a picture of what the gift of faith looks like: In the face of fear, God gives confidence that exerts a courageous force forward. In the face of disappointment, God gives confidence that produces heart-strengthening satisfaction. In the face of grief, God gives confidence that translates into healthy hope, contentment and expectancy. All of these things hinge upon the character of the Giver. Healthy expectancy is tied to the intimate knowledge of the Giver. Just like my Christmas morning expectations were based upon the attributes of my parents.

We live with incomplete confidence in difficult circumstances, especially when grieving losses. Disappointment and pain are realities. The dream of procreation is one of the big expectancies of life. We learn from Genesis that it is the cultural mandate assigned to humanity by God – to be fruitful and multiply. It is how life continues. It is how human history is written. The miracle of birth is something we witness again and again, yet many encounter times when what looked like the normal and natural process of childbirth became a burden heavier than the weight of the ocean. The normal and natural became the “not normal” and “not natural,” by any means.

Experiences of infertility, miscarriage or infant loss rip at the core of healthy expectancy. Yet sometimes a glimmer of expectancy urges forward movement, even if only the tiniest glimmer. Another attempt. Another treatment. Another month. Repeatedly, the human spirit urges us to battle failures, to overcome heartaches, to erase misfortunes, to search for alternative routes to fulfill longings…

God absolutely longs for our expectancy to be founded upon a future that is good. A future that is Heavenward. A future that keeps our focus on Him. A future focused on the God Who is Good and Whose ways are higher than our ways, with expectancy that is God-given and based upon His character and attributes.

Psalm 62:5 says, “My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him.” Psalm 145:15 says, “The eyes of all long expectantly to You.” Not a myth, but an authentic and arduous process. Gradually shifting our expectancy to God alone as the umbrella for all our other expectancies allows our tiniest glimmers of expectancy of what is good to become what He says is good.

What seems like an untangleable web of unmet and dead end expectations is a web of complexities that the Almighty Lord can and does unravel. He is able to turn curses into blessings. He is able to replace our fears with faith. He is able to change our despondency into expectancy. And, He is able to transform our expectancy of Him into a greater reality than our expectancy of successful childbirth. In that context, our dreams don’t disappear, but perhaps they change in divine priority.

With God’s strength, we can prayerfully walk out of the valley of despairing circumstances and into the mountain of expectation based on growing faith in God and His purposes. This never happens overnight or is as simple as what it may sound like here. It never happens without tears. It never happens without feelings of weakness and helplessness. It never happens without crying out or sometimes giving up. If chosen, it is an incremental process of focusing on the God Whose ways are higher than our ways. If chosen, it is a journey based upon many small decisive actions to stand on what God promises about Himself and His loving purposes in scripture.

Someday soon I pray that we can agree with A.W. Tozer who said, “I am perfectly happy to have God do things I cannot understand. I am joyfully willing that God should fly the plane for me, that He should run the machine for me, that He should portion out my life for me, that He should make plans for me. I am perfectly willing that He should do all this, because He knows how, and I do not. He has the power, and I do not.”

What are the steps? Zechariah 4:6 says, “So He said to me, This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.”